The Spiritual Discipline of Empathy

Ok, so far in these devo’s we have talked about a number of spiritual disciplines. We have talked about the spiritual disciplines of study, fasting, silence and what I called “re-creating”. A spiritual discipline is essentially a spiritual habit you regularly practice in order to grow closer to and more into the image of Christ. Today, I want to suggest that empathy is an essential spiritual discipline to Christian living. Empathy means to try to see things from another person’s perspective. And it is all over the Bible – even though it isn’t named. 

Paul talks about it in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

And then he tells us in Galatians 6:2 to “Bear one another’s burdens…”, in Philippians 2:4 he tells us to “look to the interests of others”.

And, most profoundly, in what Jesus says is one of the 2 most important commandments in scripture, we are to “love your neighbor as yourself”. All of this requires sincere empathy to be truly attained. So I want to spend a few moments making a few points about a discipline I have certainly not mastered but have been working hard on for some time now. 

First of all – empathy requires the other’s perspective, not your own. Here’s what I mean, there is a certain Christian artist that my papaw doesn’t care for, just doesn’t like the style. One year for Christmas my aunt got my papaw a cd from this particular artist and when he opened it my aunt said, “I know you don’t like his music, but I love this cd.” Now I understand the thought behind what she was doing but it is a great example of incomplete empathy. She was doing something for papaw she would like for someone to do for herself – only if papaw was in her shoes. She needs to put herself in papaw’s shoes in order for this to be true empathy. What does papaw like? What would she want if she were him? Make sure in your empathy you are not imposing yourself on the other person but rather imposing the other person on yourself.

Secondly – empathy is the necessary doorway to true compassion and forgiveness. We are commanded over and over again in scripture to show compassion and forgiveness. Empathy leads to these things. I’ve shared before about a time my father received an angry note from a member of his church. I became aware of this and began harboring ill feelings towards this member. I talked to my dad about it and he said, “Seth, before you get angry you have to see it from their perspective.” He then told me what she was going through and, in a matter of minutes, my dad led me from anger and judgement to compassion and forgiveness via empathy. Empathy doesn’t necessarily make the wrong right, but it does help you understand them more. 

Thirdly – empathy is literally what Jesus did for us. A simple definition of empathy, and what the original meaning literally means, is to get into the skin of another person. What did Jesus do when He took on flesh? He literally empathized with us! Therefore, “we do not serve a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, and yet is without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)” 

This truth ought to be a comfort to you. Jesus knows what it’s like to be tempted, betrayed, tired, forsaken. This ought to be an inspiration that motivates you to empathize, to be like Jesus in your interactions with others. 

Empathy is not easy, we like to see things from our own perspective, it is difficult to be selfless, even more to be selfless enough to truly let go of our agendas and try to understand someone else’s. But there is freedom in the Christian discipline of empathy.